†I remember it like it was yesterday …isn’t that what everyone usually says? The day I found out I was pregnant was one of the most intense, emotional days I have ever experienced. I went to the doctor after taking eight pregnancy tests. After I saw the faint blue line that completed the small plus sign, I pulled another test out and took another one. After the third one, I thought, maybe it was wrong. I went downstairs and started drinking all sorts of things… like milk, orange juice, and a ton of water like that would change the already telling plus sign into a minus sign?
The next morning I called the doctor'’s office. The receptionist answered the phone. I explained to her that I thought I was pregnant. I guess… by the sound of my voice, she could tell I was young and she asked…,
“"Are you keeping it?â€"
“"Really?"†I thought to myself,… "“Did she just ask me that?"†I was taken back,…"I think so …I'’m not sure…â€." I said I wasn’t sure even though I was sure I was keeping this baby. I called my friend Suzanne, and asked her to go with me to my appointment, which was that day.
As we pulled up to the doctor’'s office, I could feel my heart’'s heavy beat in my throat. I lit up a cigarette and made a conscience decision that this may very well be my last cigarette for the next nine months. If I wasn't pregnant, I decided I would come out and finish off the brand new pack. I mean could all of those eight pregnancy tests I took the day before have false results? I never thought I'd be faced with this situation. I was 20 years old about to turn 21- finishing college...just about to feel real freedom, and this is what I was doing, sitting in a car with Suzanne waiting to find out if my life would forever change. The actual time spent in the doctor'’s office really feels like a blur to me. I felt like time couldn't move fast enough...After I took the ninth pregnancy test at the doctor’s, I sat in his office with Suzanne waiting to hear the results. My feet, clad in Converse, twitched.
"Well,†the doctor began to say..."your pregnancy test was positive." I felt my whole body sink into the chair...I felt the room closing in around me, and before I could breathe out- he finished with this..."But we can't see the baby." What does this mean...I thought...my mouth was dry and a million thoughts rushed past me as if there was some escape...He explained to me and Suzanne that there was a possibility that I could have an *ectopic pregnancy...and that I'd have to come in for the rest of the week for blood tests and sonograms until they saw the baby in the uterus. Could it be fatal? Yes. It didn't actually hit me until later that night how serious this situation could be. Suzanne asked a few questions for me, as I sat next to her in such shock that I couldn't even speak. As we left the doctor’s office, he looked at me with a half smile and said…
“"Congratulations?"†he said. I just quietly said, “"Thanks."â€
We walked out into the hallway, and it wasn't until the door closed behind us that I broke down...and she broke down for me. I cried and cried and cried. I could barely remember what just took place just minutes before we ended up in the hallway crying. I was scared, terrified… I felt so blank-so empty . My stomach hurt from crying so hard. I felt sick. After crying for a long time, I could finally begin to hear some of my own thoughts. The only one what was the most evident was what were my parents going to think? How am I going to tell my parents? We made our way out to the car where we just sat. Not only was I pregnant- but there was a chance of an *ectopic pregnancy. So not only did I have to sit in a room with my parents and tell them I was single and pregnant with a boy they never met or heard of BUT ALSO I had to tell them there was a chance the baby was developing in the wrong place.
How am I going to do this?
*Ectopic Pregnancy is when the fertilized ovum (egg) develops outside of the uterus, as in the fallopian tube.